White Owl Web - Words on the Wind

Backyard Prayer Flags. Photo: Layne Russell

I entered the first day of autumn doing computer cleanup.  When I booted up this morning I had no internet; it was obviously time to reboot the DSL modem.  I haven’t had to do this for months.  This instigated my going into computer clean up mode.  I did a number of diagnostics, after which I ran Spybot, AdAware, and Hijack This.  I also uninstalled a few programs and defragged.  Okay, I’m good to go!  Somehow this feels perfectly timed.  As the leaves begin to fall, the temps cool down, and the pecans in the front yard and the persimmons in the back yard begin to ripen, my computer moves into its own new season — a little more svelte and efficient.

I love fall.  I have been looking forward to the change from the Redding long, hot summer.  This year’s summer has seemed especially long as our rain stopped so early in the spring.  We are in a drought, as is much of California.  Two years of below normal rainfall has hurt us.  Shasta Lake is the lowest I have ever seen it, and I have heard many say the same.  But now our night temps have welcomely and steadily been in the mid to low 60’s and now in the 50’s — a sure sign of the beginning of autumn.  Also the wind has changed.  There is a particular scent, sound, and feel in the early winds of autumn, and an intention that can be felt, nature’s intention of bringing in autumn on those winds.  If we smell, listen, feel, and read it, the clear message is there for us.

The leaves of the fourteen year old Pink Dogwood tree outside my studio-office window are just beginning to change.  Little spots of red, orange, and gold are appearing, and the berries have turned brilliant red.  The first autumn leaves of the pecan tree are wafting down, along with a few maple leaves from across the street.  I hear the papery sound of first fallen leaves blowing down both street and sidewalk.  Beautiful clouds are forming, disappearing, reforming each day.  The sunsets of late September are more grand, more colorful, promising of strong weather to come.  I savor each shining moment as I watch each day, a couple minutes at a time, shorten, and the light deftly and seductively shift to its slanted gold of autumn.

Tags: autumn, equinox, Nature, pc cleanup, Photography, Redding

Just joined twitter last night.  I like the format, the energy of it, the streamlinedness.  I took my time checking it out as I am already involved in flickr, facebook, myspace, linkedin, plaxo pulse.  (Note flickr is listed first; there is no accident there.)  Then, after once again coming across a few words on the web regarding twitter, I thought, you know, I should have a look and see what all this twittering is about.  I read, I signed up, I explored.  It turns out I love it.

I discovered right away that it’s important for me to be very selective in whom I “follow” in twitter.  I also noticed that if I am not fond of the amount of tweets (as in an over abundance of tweets) or the content of someone’s tweets, it’s easy to take them off my following list.  No problem.  I also quickly jumped into changing my background and colors already to give my pages more of my own energy.  I got the twitkit plugin for Firefox and also Twhirl.  Nice.

Me on twitter

I have just installed ScribeFire and I believe it will help make posting here much easier and faster. If you are a Firefox user, you can install ScribeFire as a plugin and therefore easily post to your blog on the fly. The features are amazing. This is my first post via ScribeFire and so far, I’m extremely impressed. I know, I’m way behind the times. It takes me a while, but eventually, I get there.

Tags: scribefire blogging

So it seems that I have come to a place where, not surprisingly really, I can fully let go of the questions and inner discussion around obtaining credentials for various expressions of my life. Do I really need an MFA to write and publish my poetry, stories, and poetic prose? No. Do I really need an RYT (Registered Yoga Teacher) certification to teach meditation? No.

No, no, no. My life is my MFA, my life is my Ph.D.

I am now at rest regarding questions such as these. I will write with or without graduate degrees, and I will teach meditation and spirituality regardless of whether or not I have the nationally recognized yoga teacher cert. It’s the art, the work, the effectiveness, the result that is important. Of course, there will be doors that either won’t open at all or won’t open as easily for me, especially in the teaching of writing. I can accept this now. I have decided that this is okay. My B.A. in English has served me well, as have my continued readings and study throughout the years. I will move forward with what I have, with what I am, with what I have to express, and with my voice to express it.

What a relief! Now I can concentrate on the writing itself. Now I can focus on preparing my books that have been waiting to come into material reality. How many books of poetry sit in notebooks and computer files and patiently wait to become turnable smooth pages with sparkling print, with lovely covers and fetching titles? How many journal pages await editing, filling out, and being assembled into some cohesive, worthy form? How many books await writing - from scratch, from a lifetime of living, from imagination? Enough to keep me busy the rest of my days this lifetime.

I am grateful. I am content. I am ready to move forward - without the initials behind my name.

Tags: credentials, goals, Poetry, writing

Remember this scene from the movie “The Pursuit of Happyness”? If you have not seen this inspirational movie starring Will Smith and based on a true story, go rent it, now!

You can find out more about this wonderful movie here.

Tags: dreams, goals, inspirational films, success

I came home from college at Chico State to see the snow. Winter break had just begun when the big storm occurred. Nice timing. Here I am standing in front of my father’s house next to the bare pecan tree in a couple feet of the wonderful white stuff. December 1968, Redding, California. What times those were. I had one semester to go for my English Lit and Comp degree with a minor in Spanish and additional studies in French. I was a writer, especially of poetry, and had been serious about poetry for about five years at this point. I had also started playing guitar several years before, was on my second guitar, a new Guild Mark II classical I adored, and at this time I had written my first couple songs. I loved to sing.

There was a 25-year snow storm that winter (the type of heavy storm which occurs approximately every 25 years). I arrived after most of the action had taken place, but it was still quite deep and very beautiful. The heavy snow caused quite a bit of damage around the area and is remembered by all who lived in Redding or nearby. All my family loves the snow, so we were all in heaven, but I have to say, this was especially true for me. I have mountains and snow in my blood, bones, and spirit.

~~~

This is a scan (Epson 3170) of the only print of this photo. The print is yellowed, so I did some minor adjusting in Photoshop to bring the levels and color back. The shot was taken with my little Brownie with flash, by my brother who was in high school at the time. I’m sure I must have said, “Hey, Rick, get me here in the snow….”

Man, I loved that coat. It was so cozy. I wore it many winters; in fact, it moved to Canada with me that next summer after graduation, and it served me very well there also. It really wasn’t missing a button; at the time of this photo it was just unbuttoned at the bottom. I guess I could Photoshop one in, but I thought the coat should stay in its relaxed, natural pose.

My 60’s winter attire: deep red orlon (remember orlon?) mock turtle neck sweater, dark blue denim slightly bell bottom pants, brown nappy double breasted 3/4 length coat with six faux tortoise shell buttons (and a smaller hidden button and loop at the top so you could close it up at the neck), brown leather shoulder bag my sweet mother gave me, and brown Hush Puppy shoes that tied. I did not have pierced ears in those days, so no earrings. Hairstyle is how I wore it every day, long and down, trimmed neatly once a year or so by my nice stepmom who was a hair stylist.

Tags: 60's, archive photo, bio, poet, retrospective, snow, winter, writer

essential oils

Sierra Spruce
on your mustache

a stand of evergreens
in my kitchen

better get my boots
cap
coat
and gloves

one kiss
and I’m up

7000 feet

(c) layne russell

Tags: mountains, poem, Poetry, winter

I had a second dream two mornings ago, the 31st, the morning of New Year’s Eve day. This second dream affirmed my following of the first dream and my clarity about withdrawing from the MFA in Writing program at Pacific University. In this second dream my mother (who died in 1994) visited me. She suddenly appeared in the doorway to my office/study, smiling softly, knowingly.

Later that day I contacted the MFA office and let them know of my change of plans. Since I wrote the email on New Year’s Eve day, I didn’t expect to receive a response until after the holiday. But I had done the deed, and there was a finality to my change of direction.

Today, the day after New Year’s Day, when everyone was back in the offices at Pacific, I received an email from the director of the MFA program. She kindly invited me to give her a call to talk about my withdrawing. I called. I explained more of the situation and a couple of the aspects of the message of my initial dream which alerted me to withdraw. She suggested I “defer to June” which would keep me in the system as accepted into the program, and that way, if I wish to start the program in the June semester of this year, I will be ready to go. So that is what I have done. I am deferred. It is possible that the change of direction is about timing, and that by next semester, starting this MFA will be the right move. I will know.

A couple weeks ago, when I was on track to start the program this coming weekend at the residency in Seaside, Oregon, I applied online for an AAUW grant. The grant is for an amount that would make a tremendous difference in my financial situation regarding this program. In April I will know the outcome. What is to come regarding this MFA is a mystery, but I do know I have done the right thing by following my inner guidance system at this time.

Tags: dreams, guidance, inner messages

Update!

I am not doing the MFA. I had a dream very early this morning that clearly said “STOP!“

I’m letting the MFA office know when they get back from their holiday break.

The dream world exquisitely guides me once again. I am grateful.

Tags: dreams, guidance, inner messages

the phone starts to ring–
morning rain
turns to snow

* * *

across the meadow
snow trail to the pond–
no one

* * *

can’t make up my mind–
under the streetlight
snow mixed with rain

* * *

white sky
fast wings over snow
blue jay!

* * *

mountain night
light cast from the house. . .
snow diamonds

* * *

four o’clock sun
across the frozen pond
tree shadows on ice

* * *

midnight on the porch
Cassiopeia floats above
cold white quiet

* * *

(c) 1998-2007 Layne Russell

Tags: haiku, Poetry, snow, winter, writing