White Owl Web - Words on the Wind

So it seems that I have come to a place where, not surprisingly really, I can fully let go of the questions and inner discussion around obtaining credentials for various expressions of my life. Do I really need an MFA to write and publish my poetry, stories, and poetic prose? No. Do I really need an RYT (Registered Yoga Teacher) certification to teach meditation? No.

No, no, no. My life is my MFA, my life is my Ph.D.

I am now at rest regarding this type of dilemma. I will write with or without graduate degrees, and I will teach meditation and spirituality regardless of whether or not I have the nationally recognized yoga teacher cert. It’s the art, the work, the effectiveness, the result that is important. Of course, there will be doors that either won’t open at all or won’t open as easily for me, especially in the teaching of writing. I can accept this now. I have decided that this is okay. My B.A. in English has served me well, as have my continued readings and study throughout the years. I will move forward with what I have, with what I am, with what I have to express, and with my voice to express it.

What a relief! Now I can concentrate on the writing itself. Now I can focus on preparing my books that have been waiting to come into material reality. How many books of poetry sit in notebooks and computer files and patiently wait to become turnable smooth pages with sparkling print, with lovely covers and fetching titles? How many journal pages await editing, filling out, and being assembled into some cohesive, worthy form? How many books await writing - from scratch, from a lifetime of living, from imagination? Enough to keep me busy the rest of my days this lifetime.

I am grateful. I am content. I am ready to move forward - without the initials behind my name.

Tags: credentials, goals, Poetry, writing

Remember this scene from the movie “The Pursuit of Happyness”? If you have not seen this inspirational movie starring Will Smith and based on a true story, go rent it, now!

You can find out more about this wonderful movie here.

Tags: dreams, goals, inspirational films, success

I came home from college at Chico State to see the snow. Winter break had just begun when the big storm occurred. Nice timing. Here I am standing in front of my father’s house next to the bare pecan tree in a couple feet of the wonderful white stuff. December 1968, Redding, California. What times those were. I had one semester to go for my English Lit and Comp degree with a minor in Spanish and additional studies in French. I was a writer, especially of poetry, and had been serious about poetry for about five years at this point. I had also started playing guitar several years before, was on my second guitar, a new Guild Mark II classical I adored, and at this time I had written my first couple songs. I loved to sing.

There was a 25-year snow storm that winter (the type of heavy storm which occurs approximately every 25 years). I arrived after most of the action had taken place, but it was still quite deep and very beautiful. The heavy snow caused quite a bit of damage around the area and is remembered by all who lived in Redding or nearby. All my family loves the snow, so we were all in heaven, but I have to say, this was especially true for me. I have mountains and snow in my blood, bones, and spirit.

~~~

This is a scan (Epson 3170) of the only print of this photo. The print is yellowed, so I did some minor adjusting in Photoshop to bring the levels and color back. The shot was taken with my little Brownie with flash, by my brother who was in high school at the time. I’m sure I must have said, “Hey, Rick, get me here in the snow….”

Man, I loved that coat. It was so cozy. I wore it many winters; in fact, it moved to Canada with me that next summer after graduation, and it served me very well there also. It really wasn’t missing a button; at the time of this photo it was just unbuttoned at the bottom. I guess I could Photoshop one in, but I thought the coat should stay in its relaxed, natural pose.

My 60’s winter attire: deep red orlon (remember orlon?) mock turtle neck sweater, dark blue denim slightly bell bottom pants, brown nappy double breasted 3/4 length coat with six faux tortoise shell buttons (and a smaller hidden button and loop at the top so you could close it up at the neck), brown leather shoulder bag my sweet mother gave me, and brown Hush Puppy shoes that tied. I did not have pierced ears in those days, so no earrings. Hairstyle is how I wore it every day, long and down, trimmed neatly once a year or so by my nice stepmom who was a hair stylist.

Tags: 60's, archive photo, bio, poet, retrospective, snow, winter, writer

essential oils

Sierra Spruce
on your mustache

a stand of evergreens
in my kitchen

better get my boots
cap
coat
and gloves

one kiss
and I’m up

7000 feet

(c) layne russell

Tags: mountains, poem, Poetry, winter

I had a second dream two mornings ago, the 31st, the morning of New Year’s Eve day. This second dream affirmed my following of the first dream and my clarity about withdrawing from the MFA in Writing program at Pacific University. In this second dream my mother (who died in 1994) visited me. She suddenly appeared in the doorway to my office/study, smiling softly, knowingly.

Later that day I contacted the MFA office and let them know of my change of plans. Since I wrote the email on New Year’s Eve day, I didn’t expect to receive a response until after the holiday. But I had done the deed, and there was a finality to my change of direction.

Today, the day after New Year’s Day, when everyone was back in the offices at Pacific, I received an email from the director of the MFA program. She kindly invited me to give her a call to talk about my withdrawing. I called. I explained more of the situation and a couple of the aspects of the message of my initial dream which alerted me to withdraw. She suggested I “defer to June” which would keep me in the system as accepted into the program, and that way, if I wish to start the program in the June semester of this year, I will be ready to go. So that is what I have done. I am deferred. It is possible that the change of direction is about timing, and that by next semester, starting this MFA will be the right move. I will know.

A couple weeks ago, when I was on track to start the program this coming weekend at the residency in Seaside, Oregon, I applied online for an AAUW grant. The grant is for an amount that would make a tremendous difference in my financial situation regarding this program. In April I will know the outcome. What is to come regarding this MFA is a mystery, but I do know I have done the right thing by following my inner guidance system at this time.

Tags: dreams, guidance, inner messages, Pacific MFA in Writing, pacific university

Update!

I am not doing the MFA. I had a dream very early this morning that clearly said “STOP!“

I’m letting the MFA office know when they get back from their holiday break.

The dream world exquisitely guides me once again. I am grateful.

Tags: dreams, guidance, inner messages, Pacific MFA in Writing

the phone starts to ring–
morning rain
turns to snow

* * *

across the meadow
snow trail to the pond–
no one

* * *

can’t make up my mind–
under the streetlight
snow mixed with rain

* * *

white sky
fast wings over snow
blue jay!

* * *

mountain night
light cast from the house. . .
snow diamonds

* * *

four o’clock sun
across the frozen pond
tree shadows on ice

* * *

midnight on the porch
Cassiopeia floats above
cold white quiet

* * *

(c) 1998-2007 Layne Russell

Tags: haiku, Poetry, snow, winter, writing

We were hoping for snow. It seemed cold enough. I kept checking the window or going outside to see if the cold light rain was starting to change to flakes. Finally, before bed very late last night, I saw a very wet and silvery layer on the grass in the front and back yards. On a tangerine leaf I found sparkling flakes, extremely wet flakes, caught in the tiny white holiday lights draped through the two tangerine trees by the front walk. At least that. But okay, no real snow at our house this time - unless snow conditions improve overnight. I crawled into the white flannel sheet and down comforter bed, and waited for the sound of raindrops outside the window to change to the silence of snowfall. But no. No snow during the night or this morning when we awoke.

So I sigh a big sigh as I give up the hope for snow with this current front. It will have to come another time. I remember as a child, growing up in this same town which I have returned to after decades, charting the temperature on my blackboard hanging on my bedroom wall. I would hurry outside every twenty minutes or so and check the thermometer on our back porch, run back in and log it in on my blackboard. Sometimes when I was very lucky, it would start to snow that night or the next morning. I lived for those snow days.

When I was younger I had lived in Portola, California, in Plumas County in the northern Sierra Nevada Mountains. There we didn’t have to think about charting temperatures and praying for them to drop. In Portola it always snowed in winter, big snow, beautiful, deep, dependable snow. When we moved from Portola when I was six, I began to see that life was going to be very different now. We moved into the valley, and here winters just weren’t going to be the same. And there were the evergreen forests, fresh mountain wind, and mountain views in every direction that would not be part of my everyday life.

At heart, I am a mountain girl. And still, at my age of…well, at my age, it is one of my life goals to return to higher altitude, evergreens, and mountain vistas. Oh yes, and snow. I’ll get there. I’m on my way. Then I won’t have to visualize and pray for snow whenever a cold front approaches. I won’t have to watch the online forecasts or chart temperatures on my bedroom blackboard. When I look out my window I’ll see snow falling. I’ll put on my boots, gloves, and down jacket, go out my front door, and walk in any direction through the white, drifting, endless magic.

Tags: childhood, mountains, Nature, Portola, retrospective, snow, weather, winter

There are thirteen students at all levels of the MFA and three instructors in my workshop group for the ten day residency starting on January 6th. We were asked to email four poems on not more than ten pages in a Word file to the MFA office, and Amber, the administrative assistant (who is incredible, by the way), then emails all the files out to all the workshop group members. We workshop members print out all the poems, read and study them carefully, and write comments on the pages which will eventually be given back to the poets. Some students write their comments on separate paper; that’s fine too.

Guidelines for positive critiquing are given in a pre-residency packet. Each poet receives time and attention on all of her/his poems during the course of the residency.

Was it difficult choosing my four poems? Yes! After going through a couple notebooks and loose pages of poetry in process, and opening and closing many Word files, I finally decided to submit poems written in four different styles. The poems I chose were “edges,” “Iraq,” “Jacket,” and “doctor doctor.”  I’m speculating that making this four poem choice is the most difficult the first semester. There is so much the new students don’t know about the process, the people, and the ambiance at this point!

I have begun looking over the poems of the other students and look forward to hunkering down and doing the careful reads and making my comments. The level of writing is inspiring, to say the least.  I am undoubtedly in good company.

Tags: Pacific MFA in Writing, pacific university, Poetry, poetry workshop, residency, writing

Ah! I created the new blog header in Photoshop today! I used a photo I took a few years ago, taken from the top of Beckwourth Peak in Portola, California. This view is looking toward Sierraville in the Sierra Valley, the largest alpine valley in North America. The Sierra Valley is just around the corner from Portola in Plumas County in the northern Sierra Nevada Mountains. Portola is one of my favorite places, and I thought it a fitting location for my beautiful white owl in flight. The cluster of tiny buildings in the lower right of the image is Sierraville! The white owl photo? Did I take it? No, though I would be quite proud and pleased if I had. Several years ago I was given permission to use this beautiful shot for any of my White Owl endeavors by its creator, Bob Atkins. (Thank you again and again, Bob!)

Today I also worked on a new background, one which hopefully goes with snow and white owls. It works for me. I will no doubt change it many times in the future, but for now, especially for winter, it’s a good fit.

I also got my Comments links to work. There was a permalink situation which I quickly remedied once I discovered that was the problem. So, dear Frank, if you’re stopping in again, or anyone else who may have tried and not been able to leave two cents of wisdom, you can write a note now.

There are still some plugins not working, and I’ll keep playing with those till I get them going — or delete them!

My WordPress theme was designed by Sadish Bala. He does beautiful work, and on his sites he also kindly answers questions about his themes. One of his sites is here: WordPress Themes by Sadish

It feels good to make giant and small steps alike which help make this cyber ship sail more smoothly and effectively.

Tags: blog beginnings, blog tweaking, photo, Photoshop